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In Memoriam: A COLLECTION OF GOOFY ADS, NOTICES, SIGNS, HEADLINES, ETC.  
Compiled by prof. N.A. Vavilov





George Bush (G): Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

G: Great. Lay it on me.

C: Hu is the new leader of China.

G: That’s what I want to know.

C: That’s what I’m telling you.

G: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

C: Yes.

G: I mean the fellow’s name.

C: Hu.

G: The guy in China.

C: Hu.

G: The new leader of China.

C: Hu.

G: The Chinaman!

C: Hu is leading China.

G: Now what are you asking me for?

C: I’m telling you Hu is leading China!

G: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?

C: That’s man’s name!

G: Whose name?

C: Yes.

G: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

C: Yes, sir.

G: Yassir? Yassir Arafat in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

C: That’s correct.

G: Then who is in China?

C: Yes, sir.

G: Yassir is in China?

C: No, sir.

G: Then who is?

C: Yes, sir.

G: Yassir?

C: No, sir.

G: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

C: Kofi?

G: No, thanks.

C: You want Kofi?

G: No.

C: You don’t want Kofi.

G: No. But now that you mention it, I could have a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

C: Yes, sir.

G: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

C: Kofi?

G: Milk! Will you please make the call?

C: And call who?

G: Who is the guy at the U.N?

C: Hu is the guy in China.

G: Will you stay out of China?

C: Yes, sir.

G: And stay out of Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

C: Kofi.

G: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone)

C: Rice, here!

G: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too.
________________________________________

London, July, 2011